Praying About India

Dear friends, for the last few months my husband, Oles, and I have been praying about moving to India. God has been slowly answering our prayers for wisdom about what decision to make. However, God has begun to answer my prayers about comfort and peace in my soul about making such a move and transition in our lives.

Ever since I became a Christian, God put in my heart the desire to chase after Him as fast as possible, and doing this has taken me through many adventures and hardships. God has used all my circumstances to help me grow tremendously in my faith in His goodness and sovereignty. I still have so much growth to go. As Paul says it: "I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things (spiritual maturity) or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." Philippians 3:12-14 NLT

About a month ago I realized that I had some rising fear in my heart about moving to India. The fear is related to my thoughts about how uncomfortable and hard life will be in a third world, non-Christian, non-western country. I have sometimes cried out to God in agony, asking him to take this fear from my heart and give me a heart of courage, and the desire to pursue spreading the gospel to the most unreached, most dangerous places on the earth. I'll admit it, I was very scared to even start to pray this prayer. I was afraid that if God gave me this desire, then surely I would follow it and go live in a crazy place. 

 
Well, I've gotten over this lie in my head and realized that "God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV

And...
"my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Once I realized that if God gives me this desire, He will also equip me with all strength, courage and faith that I need to persevere even in the hardest circumstances.  It was a break through moment for me, when I realized this, and God has helped my faith and confidence in His promises of grace to grow abundantly over the last few months.

For now we believe that Oles will continue working in business and I will continue teaching english and doing english clubs, and we pray that we will grow spiritually and in God's grace, so that He will prepare us for the right time to move to India to be missionaries. We believe that the work God will prepare for us in India will be by working with orphans, studying Hindi, and preaching the gospel.

There's several reasons why we believe that God is preparing our hearts to go to Delhi:
1. Our hearts are broken for the lost people, and god has directed our hearts to have a special desire to focus on the people of India.  We desire to see as many people saved as possible before the coming of the King Jesus, at His return.
2. Delhi is a corridor for us to eventually go to even more unreached parts of India.

3. It will give us the opportunity to share the gospel by speaking english until we learn Hindi.
4. We will be able to obtain a visa by entering India as students to learn Hindi at a University in Delhi.

5. It will give us access to hospitals to start our family, and continue to care for my severe back pain.


So the prayer requests that we have now are:
1. For God to reveal to us when we should go to Delhi, India

2. For God to supply for our needs (especially financially)

3. For God to help us prepare spiritually for this great step in faith to fulfill the Great Commission.

Here's a video we found a few months ago that pictures some typical scenes from India. Watching it gets me excited!

"Think about it" India 2012

Do Not Lose Heart

The chiropractor I went to yesterday says I have "grade 2" Scoliosis.  Scoliosis is so painful because when the spine is out of alignment it doesn't work properly, which causes everything else around it to not work properly, especially causing muscle pain, nerve pain, etc...

My back is not this noticeably bad, but you can understand by the picture what's happening

I still can't figure out what that means for me in the future, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was true considering how bad my back pain has become over the last 5 years.  Every day for me is a battle, and daily things like cooking and cleaning and travelling on the buses are difficult for me because they cause my back so much pain.  I've been to chiropractors in the past, and no one has told me I have Scoliosis until now.  They told me "You just have a small curve in the thoracic vertebrae"  I almost never have any relief from pain unless I take medicine or seriously rest my back by laying down for a long time.

At this point in my life, I'm so used to this pain that it's normal for me.  I have accepted this pain from the Lord, and I even thank Him for it because I know how much it pushes me to cry out to God for help in the worst times.  The bible teaches that in this life there will be suffering, especially for the children of God.  So I have accepted this from the Lord as part of my suffering, and as a way that He constantly humbles me and tells me "you can't do this without me."

When I came to Ukraine I was pretty concerned about my back health.  In America I was going to the chiropractor once or twice a month to manage my pain and keep my spine in alignment.  Well, until yesterday I haven't seen a chiropractor or doctor in 6 months, and thank God my back hasn't gotten that much worse.  There's been some times when the pain was unbearable and I had to stop and rest or take medicine, but the Lord has given me the strength I prayed for to carry on with life and His mission for me.

As I meditated about all this yesterday I resolved not to worry or lose heart, knowing that apostle Paul was a man ridden with horrible health problems, yet his faith was a shining example of what it means to be a true disciple of Christ.  In 2 Corinthians 4:16 Paul says from personal experience, and to encourage the believers "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

The psalmist also said it like this: Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

So I will not lose heart despite my circumstances and how horrible I feel, because I know in my heart that all this is just temporary and in a short time I will be relieved of all pain and all troubles and be with the Lord Jesus Christ in eternity.

Please pray for my husband and I not to lose heart or faith in God through all our pain and struggles.  (My husband also has some undiagnosed back problems and pretty bad pain).  Thank you friends, may the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and sanctify you.

Thinking about the Future

Since it's the new year, my husband and I began to think about what our goals are for 2013.  Firstly we pray that we will see Jesus soon, but that doesn't mean we will wait around idly for him to return.  There's plenty of souls that need to hear the gospel before Jesus returns, so we've decided to put more efforts than ever into our own spiritual growth and evangelism.

Some of our goals this year are:

1. Share the gospel with 100 individuals - write down who, when and what we talked about with the person.  This is a big goal for me since English speakers are pretty rare here in Ukraine.  Oles's goal is to share the gospel with 200 individuals and with 50 people in a crowd at one time.
2. Grow spiritually and make a victory against sin in our lives.
1. For me this means making steps to challenge the idol of comfort that I can sometimes put up in my life.  This is probably a result of being born into a middle class american family, where the culture revolves around comfort in every sphere of life.  This is maybe the biggest reason, I believe, that Christianity is so weak in America, in general.  I want to grow in my satisfaction and trust in God and be joyful with the life and circumstances that God gives me.
2. For Oles this means growing in humbleness and fighting pride.  This is a sin many men struggle with, and for some reason it's been especially difficult for him to deal with in the past.  From this sin come other sins, and he wants to be free from slavery to this sin.
3. We want to use 2013 to prepare our hearts, our spirits and our bodies for becoming missionaries in another country.  We are thinking about India and Nepal now, because Oles loves this area of the world, and we have connections in this part of the world, that so desperately needs the gospel.  We plan to do this by:
1. Growing in knowledge and ability to disciple young believers
2. Grow in strength and courage in sharing the gospel with non-believers
3. Strengthening our bodies to handle harder living circumstances 
4. Pray for hearts that are ready to suffer greatly for the sake of the gospel and making Jesus's name famous in the world and magnifying the glory of God.

Please pray for us this year as we grow spiritually and prepare for the future.  please prays for our hearts to trust God, to conquer sin, and to have a passion for sharing the gospel with the lost people.

- Jessica and Oles 

You will not abandon my soul!

Last night on our way back home from a pretty spiritually heavy homegroup, I needed some encouragement, something to tell me that God is still working in my heart to help me to defeat sin in my life. 

To quickly summarize our homegroup: We had studied Romans 7 – especially focusing on the spiritual battle that Paul is describing in verses 7-25.

Verse 19 “For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”  As Christians, we know what is right, and what is wrong, but still every day we sin and do what is wrong in God’s view.  Even if we try to do what’s right we can’t!  This can leave a Christian feeling hopeless over the sinful condition of the heart.

But Paul says later in the chapter, verse 24 and 25 “ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?  Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!..”  he is honest and recognizes his sinful state and thanks God that he is delivered from this through Jesus Christ.

So, after the group, I felt pretty weighed down by all my sins, and by my daily battle with sin and there was very little joy in my heart.  So in the metro on the way home, I opened up my one year bible reading plan and found this psalm (I’ve added my comments in parentheses)

Psalm 16

1 Keep me safe, my God,

    for in you I take refuge. (God, please help me!  My sins are consuming me!)

2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

    apart from you I have no good thing.” (yes, it’s so true! In myself, until you saved me and entered into my heart, I was a walking pile of sin and death!)

3 I say of the holy people who are in the land,

    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”

4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.

    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods

    or take up their names on my lips. (Lord, I recognize that true happiness comes from knowing you, and there is no other God like you)

5 Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; (nothing else can satisfy my needs like you do!)

    you make my lot secure.

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

    surely I have a delightful inheritance. (I am going to be with you in heaven forever, how amazing!!!!!)

7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

    even at night my heart instructs me. (even when I’m unconscious you direct me to know your way, you teach me what is good, you give me wisdom!)

8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord. (I’m trying to fix my eyes on you Lord, please help me stay focused always!!!)

    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Yes Lord!  You are the solid rock on which I will build my life!)

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

    my body also will rest secure, (Yes Lord! I will trade my current sorrows for your joy!  You have restored my confidence in you through your word and restored the joy in my heart!)

10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,

    nor will you let your faithful one see decay. (This is so amazing!  Even though I’m such a big sinner, you have saved me and will not allow me to fall from your mighty hands!!  You are so amazing, thank you GOD!!!!)

11 You make known to me the path of life; (I don’t have to walk on the path to death, because you have shown me the way I can live eternally!!)

    you will fill me with joy in your presence, (My joy can last past this moment!  You will continue to work in my heart to bring me joy!)

    with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (You will even go so far as to give a sinner like me eternal pleasures?!!! WOW how amazing is your mercy and grace and love!!!!!!)

After reading my comments, you can understand how I am now feeling!  Thank the Lord that He has restored my joy and confidence in His power and love over me!  I will not give up in the fight against sin because I know that my Lord strengthens me with even battle!  May glory and honor and power be yours, oh Lord, forever and ever! Amen!!!!

Rejoice Always!

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

This verse has been more relevant than ever for me over the last few weeks.

I realized that as the cold Ukrainian winter crept in (or should I say "snowed us in")  My spirits were sunk almost every day, and it was hard to dig myself out of the hole I felt I was in.

It pretty much looks like this everywhere now, except with more ice :)

Well, I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't exactly satisfied or happy about my circumstances.  Which is silly!  I just got married to the most amazing husband in the universe, and we have a pretty nice apartment, and my family came to our wedding in Ukraine all the way from California, and we had an amazing honeymoon, among so many other undeserved blessings!

However, once we came back to the real world, we had problems with many things breaking in our apartment, freezing weather, too long of transportation times, missing the bus, being late to work constantly, waking up every morning exhausted from not enough sleep, and many other small trials.

THEN, last week at our home group, God revealed clearly the true condition my heart!  I was complaining constantly in my heart!  Whether I was disgruntled at being crowded in the metro, someone stepping on my foot, the freezing wind in my face, or running out of eggs and having to walk to the store, etc...  What ever small trial God allowed me to have, I was almost always complaining about them!  

Oh how wretched am I!? I realized exactly the condition of my sinful heart, and where the roots of that complaining were....not being satisfied in all that God is for me in Jesus Christ!  If I was completely satisfied with all that God is in Jesus Christ, then I would never complain about anything, knowing that 

"Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:12 

And knowing that, I would:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."James 1:2-4 

And:

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:3-6

So once I realized that my heart was not "rejoicing always, praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances"  I had a choice to make:  keep sinning and be miserable, or repent for my sin and actively seek change in my heart through the Holy Spirit.  

Well, obviously I made the second choice!  I have forgotten the joy that I first had when I came to Ukraine 5 months ago, and I let the devil lie to me and tell me that God has created a less-than-satisfactory life for me here in Ukraine!

Now I'm trying to remember that joy, and all the reasons that God led me to come to Ukraine in the first place.  Remembering all the grace in my life and blessing God has given in the past, and knowing that "My God will supply every need of [mine] according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19 makes me look forward to a future everyday with God, knowing that God is going to supply all my needs: physical, spiritual and emotional!

I encourage you to seek God today, and seek healing for your heart!  Everyone is a sinner and no one can say that he or she is perfect and without sin! 

Consider this: "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him [God] out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." 1 John 1:8-10

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

Have a very blessed day, full of joy and hope in the Lord Jesus Christ!

For your reward in heaven is great

Recently I've been studying about our works on this earth, and why they matter.

Do I do good things for other people solely out of the will to obey God, or is there something else that motivates me?  What motivates me to live an amazing Christian life, risking all for Christ, when I could choose to settle for a much easier path, and a normal Christian life?

Well, there's many things I could get into, especially about "the surpassing worth of Christ" as Paul describes it, and how this allows us to count all things as lost compared to His worth.

But specifically, I've been thinking lately about my "reward in heaven" and how this motivates me to live an extraordinary life for Christ.

John Piper said once, "Do you think it would be fair if apostle Paul and I were given the same reward in heaven?  No, absolutely not!  Surely Paul is worthy of a much greater reward in heaven!"
It makes sense right?  

And the scripture supports his idea:
1 Corinthians 3:8 "The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor."
Ephesians 6:8 "knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord"

But these works, are not simply good deeds, they are "works of faith", works done by faith in future grace.
1 Thessalonians 1:3 "We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."
2 Thessalonians 1:11 "With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith."

This reward is given to the believer, acting out of trust in the future grace in God, and not to the one who does good deeds by human initiative.

Remember the parable of the minas (or pounds) in Luke 19:12-27?

 12He said therefore, “A nobleman went into a far country to receive for himself a kingdom and then return. 13Calling ten of his servants,^a he gave them ten minas,^b and said to them, ‘Engage in business until I come.’ 14But his citizens hated him and sent a delegation after him, saying, ‘We do not want this man to reign over us.’ 15When he returned, having received the kingdom, he ordered these servants to whom he had given the money to be called to him, that he might know what they had gained by doing business. 16The first came before him, saying, ‘Lord, your mina has made ten minas more.’ 17And he said to him, ‘Well done, good servant!^c Because you have been faithful in a very little, you shall have authority over ten cities.’ 18And the second came, saying, ‘Lord, your mina has made five minas.’ 19And he said to him, ‘And you are to be over five cities.’ 20Then another came, saying, ‘Lord, here is your mina, which I kept laid away in a handkerchief; 21for I was afraid of you, because you are a severe man. You take what you did not deposit, and reap what you did not sow.’ 22He said to him, ‘I will condemn you with your own words, you wicked servant! You knew that I was a severe man, taking what I did not deposit and reaping what I did not sow? 23Why then did you not put my money in the bank, and at my coming I might have collected it with interest?’ 24And he said to those who stood by, ‘Take the mina from him, and give it to the one who has the ten minas.’ 25And they said to him, ‘Lord, he has ten minas!’ 26‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 27But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slaughter them before me.’”

The parable shows us that there are varying degrees of reward in heaven for the faithfulness of our lives.  But it also teaches that there is a loss of reward and heaven for those who claim to be faithful to Chris but do nothing to show that they prize God's gifts and love the Giver.  This is what happened to the third servant.  Jesus also says in Matthew 25:30 "And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

2 Corinthians 5:10 "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil."

"all" means Christians and non-Christians.

Other texts on this topic:

Romans 2:5-8 " But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God's righteous judgment will be revealed.

 He will render to each one according to his works:  to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life;  but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury."

James 2:26 "Faith without works is dead"

John 5:28-29 "Do not marvel at this, for an hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgment."

In the words of John Piper "the way one lived will be evidence for whether one passes through judgement to life, or whether one experiences judgement as condemnation"

These are some of the things I remember when I think about my motivation to work hard for God's kingdom on this earth, giving up everything for Christ.  It is much more difficult for me to live such a life, but I want to count all my sufferings and everything I have here on the earth as nothing compared to "the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Philippians 3:8

One last piece of scripture that I hold constantly in my heart, that encourages me in my life:
Matthew 5:11-12 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

This gives me the strength and courage to not fear what people will do to me if I have a crazy love and faithfulness to Christ.  I know that my reward will be great in heaven!  This is extremely motivating for me!

I recommend the book "Future Grace" by John Piper, to the Christian who wants to grow in their love and faith in God.

Praise be to the Lord God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit!

Future Grace

Recently, in English club we've been studying the bible about Jesus's birth, to prepare our minds or Christmas.  Amazingly, at this time of the year, which normally brings me so much joy, I haven't felt the same.

Well, this year the circumstances of my life are dramatically different than last year:  I now live in a foreign country, I got married, I started full time missionary work, I switched my work (at least for now) from nutrition and dietetics to teaching English as a foreign language...etc.

So many things are different now than they were just one year ago...

However, one thing I've realized is still the same:
The Lord, God in Heaven.
He never changes, always remains the same, and is always right here when I need Him.

I realized after a few months being in Ukraine just how easy my life was in America, and because the difficulty of my life increased when I came to Ukraine, it forced me to rely on God for help, at least more than I did in the past.

Relying on God more helped me to grow tremendously, spiritually speaking.  I have gone through a very rapid period of sanctification, and I am so thankful for it.

One of the things that has been helping me, is drawing near to God, and confessing when I sin...
 James 4:8  "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Admitting my weakness and need for God not only brought me closer to God, but gave me immense joy in my hardships and the "peace of God, which passes all understanding" Phil 4:7

Another thing that has helped me is quality time with God every day, amazing sermons by John Piper, Francis Chan, etc, and good books like "Future Grace".

My husband also read "Future Grace" by John Piper and he says there was life before "Future Grace" and life after "Future Grace".  The book completely changed the way my husband and I look at God's grace, and his future plans for us.  It helped us realize the roots of many sins, which altogether is simply put as the lack of faith in God's future grace.  Piper describes future grace as every act of grace and good plan that God has for us in the future, such as it says in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I recommend this book to everyone who has the desire to grow in their faith in God.  In Russian, the book is called: ГРЯДУЩАЯ БЛАГОДАТЬ – ДЖОН ПАЙПЕР

When I realized exactly how good and true the promises of the bible are, I realized what future grace meant to me.  

There's a million things I could tell you about this book, but it's easier for you to just read and discover them for yourself.

English:
http://www.amazon.com/Future-Grace-John-Piper/dp/1590521919

Russian:
http://ru.inlumine.org/knigi/griadushaya-blagodat/

Here's a sermon by John Piperon the same topic that the book's about:

 http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/living-by-faith-in-future-grace

Please pray for our English clubs, especially for the student's hearts; that they will come to understand the gospel and have a saving faith in Jesus Christ!